Steps to get the image of SELF right sized
I can remember the first time I became aware of my appearance. I was in 4th grade, and I was headed to the movies with my best friend. I had been trying to get the perfect high wave with my bangs, and it was not working out the way I wanted. I had failed. I had created an expectation that was not met, and suddenly I felt ugly and worthless. Dramatic yes, but at the time I could not be convinced otherwise. I started to cry, and my distorted view of myself only got more intense.
Ever since that moment I have had an issue with how I look. I am not tall enough, my bone structure is not defined enough, and my breasts are just too small. I am not enough...
Compare and despair. Some days I feel amazing -- a true confidence fills me up with joy. Then something goes wrong, and I lose it all in a matter of seconds. A perfect example is a pimple. They are the death of me. I can go from feeling bright and beautiful, to feeling like a monster. Then, in my attempt to force the imperfection to disappear as fast as possible, I make it worse, and prolong the healing process. It consumes me.
This is what I try to do in these situations:
- Realize that I am only human
- Accept that perfection cannot be achieved
- Remember all I have to be grateful for
- Practice self-acceptance by committing to loving myself as I am
- Curb the habits that cause this feeling (in my case, I need to learn to leave my face alone)
- Appreciate all the beauty in the world, even in the everyday
- Find compassion for the people around you. Even the people you resent. It is reassuring to know that we all have struggles.
- Help others - volunteer at your local community center or shelter. Getting outside of yourself through working with others guarantees the immediate relief of self-obsession.
- Wink at yourself in the mirror at least once a day
- Practice Self Care. (Eat well, exercise, and find a spiritual practice). This is how we build internal self confidence.
Our skin loves to be hydrated. It loves seaweed, all greens, and anything with lots of water. (hence the old cucumber over the eye trick) It also loves good fats. Did you know that if you look at seaweed under a microscope it looks almost identical to human skin? Sugar and caffeine can be a cause of breakouts and redness. They both cause spikes in hormone levels that leads to a reaction in your skin. Eat and drink sugar and caffeine in moderation.